have i been making mistakes too long part 4

[duke]

I understand TDK's predicament here and I also understand Azzorks and Sandis. The problem is TDK has no choice but to play the game. Because he is still part of the family and connected to his wife at least through his kids he is basically by default a part of the game. If he fixes the car whether to appease his wife or provide transportation for his kids does not really matter. If he doesn't do it his wife and kids think hes a bad guy. If he does do it he looks like a doormat, his wife doesn't respect him and doesn't miss the stuff he used to do. I get it I see both sides but do you both see how he cannot win a game he has no choice but to play? Another example for me: We have a nice big trampoline at our old house that was 15' x 18', huge. A 2 or 3 person job to move it. Could not fit in a full size pick up for sure, you have to take it apart which is an 8 hour job. I asked W if we should sell it or move it. At first she said sell it then changed her mind and didn't tell me, I almost sold it and checked with her at the last minute. Of course she freaked out and said she had arranged to move it to her new rental house, again without telling me. The person that she arranged to move it is a good mutual friend but very unreliable. When I found out I left him texts and messages to help him. He forgot about it completely and I ended up having to do it by myself. The entire time W and kids were in Europe. Here is the situation: if I sold it, I lose in her eyes and the kids I'm a bad guy. If I left it alone and it never got moved I'm a bad guy and would have to pay the landlord to move it, I lose. If I left it for friend to move, I'm lazy and careless, I lose. If I move it myself I'm a martyr, suck up, panderer, again, I lose. SO what could I have don't different? By the way, wife will not even mention it and she will probably tell the kids not to as well. What could I have done in this situation? Best as I see it, make sure it gets done, do it myself, for my family and keep my mouth shut. At the end of the day I am there for my kids.