May your fantasies come true

[Ggrass]

And the job is moving towards full time for bf.

I'm suffering some paranoid stuff, I'm thinking the worst of what ifs!

Those of you that have Been cheated on know what I mean, what if he's just acting but still looking and cheating....

What if what if what if.... And really I've not been given any reason that I can see to even think what if. I've just got that whole lizard out of the control breathe holding fear based reaction.

I'm trying to take risks, while being cautious but that big attraction isn't helping any rational stuff too much. On paper given I don't have a lot but could loose it all to him if things went south it's a huge gamble.