Wife says "NO" and acting like I have no rights

[Zues126]

10 days ago I told you to get off the roller coaster and try to avoid taking any action. I've just caught up on your sitch and you continue to be all over the map. I recommend setting a goal of going 10 days without doing much.

Imagine for a moment how you'd feel if you were driving a bit tipsy and hit someone. Wouldn't you just be stunned for a moment? Overwhelmed with grief and remorse? Maybe just a little humbled, quietly apologetic, with no expectations that you wouldn't serve a sentence?

Maybe look at your M the same way. You hurt the person you were entrusted to care for to the point she has had to commit relationship suicide to be away from you. Can't you find some humility, some quiet regret? Instead you seem to get angry she can't forgive you. That just shows you haven't really understood the depths of how you hurt her, if you did you'd be STFU right now and leaving her alone. You might even be hesitant to want to get back with her because you'd be afraid of hurting her further, and you'd love her enough not to want that to happen. How can you even consider writing an apology letter when you're not sorry and are actually outraged that she's defended herself from you?

Tough waters for sure, but I think you need to stop charging around, look in the mirror, and try not to cause any more damage for a while. You don't do this because of what you think it will 'get you'. You do this because you don't want to cause more pain to others. See if you can get there.