WAH, in the thick of divorce

[ep0215]

Azzork - Thank you for stopping by and giving me some things to chew on. I am ready to work on me, I am starting to understand that he may not ever come back around or it may be years before that happens to what will I do in the meantime. It won't be sitting around waiting for him to wake up, that is for sure.

I have been trying to see things from his side of things and what I want to change about myself, it has been difficult because he doesn't talk about anything so I literally have nothing verbal to go on. Reflecting back there are things I want to change about myself, I do my best at trying to explain.

1.) I want to be more collaborative with the parenting decisions. Since he was never physically around I pushed him aside and made the calls without him and then informed him later. I see now that was not good. I want to ask his opinion before making the decision instead of unilaterally deciding what is best.

2.) Make eye contact when talking to people. I must come across as not paying attention or don't care attitude. Show I am listening and I am interested in what is being said.

3.) Don't be afraid to say no. I tend to clam up when anyone asks me to do something and I don't want to do it.

These are just a few things I have been thinking about this weekend. I am sure there are more but don't want to overwhelm myself.

goals:
1. Do not let his temper and anger make me do something I am not comfortable with just to make him feel better
2. Do more GAL activities when S is not here (Start Bucket List)
3. Stay dark except for child related business. No temp checking
4. Have a better PMA when around H