I saw that I could do more and I wanted to do more not just to help out my wife more but to have a better, closer family life. I rarely if ever asked her to do anything. Is this 30 days with no contact at all not going to do anything? may even push her away more?
M: 48 W: 45 Married: 16 years D1-14, D2-11, D3-9 BD: May 29 She moved out 2 weeks later with kids Awaiting mediation
How long does the anger in WAW phase last? Again, I didn't cheat, no abuse of any kind, was being a good husband and dad and improving, she just hit a point in life where she wasn't happy where she was at in terms of a house and finances, hit her limit with my "moodiness" which was me withdrawing and being quiet. How long does this hatred, coldness, meanness and complete disregard of anything positive in our relationship last?
M: 48 W: 45 Married: 16 years D1-14, D2-11, D3-9 BD: May 29 She moved out 2 weeks later with kids Awaiting mediation
I saw that I could do more and I wanted to do more not just to help out my wife more but to have a better, closer family life. I rarely if ever asked her to do anything. Is this 30 days with no contact at all not going to do anything? may even push her away more?
If you don't like a couch, do you think being away from it will change your opinion after 30 days? What if you paint the room, change out the cushions and add an end table...maybe you can come back and see the couch differently.
My point is that just a month of NC isn't going to do anything unless you have made some changes during that time.
How long does this really crappy period last where you are strong one day then a mess the next. Where you think you can go on one day and think you cant live without her the next?
M: 48 W: 45 Married: 16 years D1-14, D2-11, D3-9 BD: May 29 She moved out 2 weeks later with kids Awaiting mediation
Yes I know its coming. I know when she gets back in 8 days I am in for a lot more pain from her. This is just the limbo period before she gets back. This all started with a "maybe we should try a trial separation?" I would give my right arm for a trial separation right now. I broke every single one of your 37 rules, some several times before I found this site and the DR/DB books. Would it have made any difference if I read them and found this site before BD? I don't know, maybe. She certainly is absolutely livid now, at least she was before she left. She was out for blood with total visceral anger in her eyes. I have never seen it before, not even close. How long does the anger last? What should I expect?
M: 48 W: 45 Married: 16 years D1-14, D2-11, D3-9 BD: May 29 She moved out 2 weeks later with kids Awaiting mediation
I am going for a bike ride to clear my head and kill some time. This site is great and I really appreciate all the kind folks with their feedback. I know a lot of it is stuff people may not want to hear. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. So much uncertainty, disappointment, despair, anger, fear... I have never felt like this, ever, not even close.
M: 48 W: 45 Married: 16 years D1-14, D2-11, D3-9 BD: May 29 She moved out 2 weeks later with kids Awaiting mediation
I just caught up on your sit. I don't have alot of advise. I will say I know how you feel. I too love me w. She has completely shut me off. We are in the same house but she sleeps in another room.
I'm glad you found this site. Before I came here I did the same rule breaking. I continue to break the rules from time to time.
As far as the good days bad days, I'm trying not to be so hard on myself. My bad days are almost always brought on by a bad dream about the w. The dream replays in my head all day. I have had some good days but they few and far between.
Thanks for looking at my thread. I will keep in touch
M:39 W:40 S:10 S:7 D:12 BD:3/5/15 Separate BR:3/5/15 W moved out with kids 1/3/16
I used to have bad dreams every now and then where something scared me. I would always shuffle across the bed and snuggle with my wife or hold her hand. She absolutely loved it whenever that happened and would console me until we both fell asleep again. She would do the same thing as well. Now I have those dreams more often. I shuffle across the bed, wake up and realize there is no one there. Its really sad and depressing. It is happening less now however. I'm also having dreams where her and I are in the same bed. I wake up alone, those hurt even more. Usually in the early morning as well. Hang in there. Get some exercise. I went for a good long road ride yesterday and felt a lot better when I went to bed. I went to church this AM as well. The sermon was about the sanctity of marriage and how in the bible the man and woman were supposed to cherish one another as one, how important their vows were. I looked around at how many mothers were there with their kids but no dad and there was me by myself.
M: 48 W: 45 Married: 16 years D1-14, D2-11, D3-9 BD: May 29 She moved out 2 weeks later with kids Awaiting mediation
I understand. I took the kids to church this morning. The w went but wouldn't ride with me. We came home separate cars. I had planned to play golf this afternoon but it's raining like crazy here. Tomorrow is a new day with new challenges. I don't know where you are in the world but in the south we say brang it own.
Hang in there it will get better. Is has to.
M:39 W:40 S:10 S:7 D:12 BD:3/5/15 Separate BR:3/5/15 W moved out with kids 1/3/16
