Hopeless in NYC

[eclipse]

Well, I think we had fun. I know I did. D flipped out because she wasn't getting it, W seemed unusually good at it and she said it's because she went on so many mini-golf dates. Speaking of which, she seemed to perk up particularly when she talked about her last date (she said she broke it off abruptly)...it was annoying, but I let her speak without judgement. Anyway, I noticed she gets bored and distant a lot, and I find this particularly worrisome. More than one outside observer has repeatedly told me that it seems that my depression is actually a consequence of being around her, and I'm starting to feel that this really may be the case. Coupled with a recent revelation that she projects a lot, I am afraid to end up in the same situation down the road. It's not that I don't want to put in the effort, but even though I can turn my own situation around and become a happier person, I don't think I can hold up both of us. She's quit her IC several times in the last few years, and MC once, so I'm not really sure where it will go this time. She continues to keep saying "if we get back together," and I don't know what she's looking for to make that happen at this point. Hell, I'm starting to wonder if she knows herself.