It sounds like when you "changed", it sounds like you picked out the things she said she wanted and did them. That you changed exactly as she requested. Unfortunately, as you can now see, that just doesn't work. It's hard to trust and it's not sustainable. It's not about pretzel ing yourself to become the person you think they want you to be - it's about taking their criticisms and molding you into the person you want to be.
For example, I always used to ask my wife to do some stupid chore as I was walking out of the house in the morning - clean the dishes, start some laundry, whatever. And she would never do it. and, of course I'd be mad. But it wasn't about that chore. It was that I thought she was being lazy.
As for what you do now, you go back to the beginning, read the homework and really start to look for your failings in your M. If you don't make changes in yourself, there can be no change in your R with your W.
Regarding the legal action, I say "so what". You can't contrpl it, and it really doesn't matter much. You're more or less divorced right now - what difference does the piece of paper make? And even if you get all the way to being DIVORCED, there's no rule that you can't get back together.
So focus on the things you can control: you. Your actions. Your reactions.
