running around like a chicken without a head

[Sotto]

'Gosh I haven't done anything to gal'

Well, that's not a bad place to start then Depress. Taking classes sounds like a good plan - a way to meet new people and wrap your brain around something other than your sitch.

Also, do start reaching out to your friends - with your kids and without them. It is great to get some dates in the calendar and think, I'm seeing X on Saturday and then Y....

'I have completely forgotten who I am'

What would 'former happy you' say to yourself now Depress? How can you find your own way back to happier you. Don't put any of this on your H. Our happiness does not (and never should depend entirely on another person.) It is within our gift to make ourselves happier.

'Tonight I did and said some stupid things to him BUT I was so angry'

I have read many times on this forum that anything said before the BUT is negated by what comes after it. So, you acknowledge you said stupid things, but you also feel your anger justifies your behaviour. I think it's a learning curve for us all to listen to and process our emotions, whilst not being led by them.

'The hard part is detaching......but I will do what I have to do'

Great - lets see what your plans are for this new phase my friend - I'm excited for you.

You recognise that whilst you've been posting on the forum for a while - you haven't really been DBing. Did you read the books? You aren't GALing, you aren't detached, you're behaving in ways that push him away (saying stupid things in anger)....etc..

So, why not post some new positive goals for yourself. And do try to base them purely on you and what you can control. Remember, we have no control over our WAS's - only ourselves. And I would love to see you review your forum name to something more upbeat and more reflective of where you are now headed.

Good luck D - I'm rooting for you and we are all here to support xx