Let's break down the events and questions...shall we?
1. Showing you his telephone when a call came in. This was his way to reassure you that he wasn't getting a call from a woman. He wanted you to see it was a telemarketer. If he does it again, thank him. I wouldn't ask him why he's doing it. Be glad that he's stepping up and letting you see his phone.
2. Why did you have a set back when he asked you to spin around and let him see how you looked in the dress? You should have been happy that he asked and provided a nice compliment. They do have moments of clarity and will actually say normal things.
You are going to have to let those criticisms that he made go. They were made when he was at his worse during his crisis. He lashed out to the person who was closest to him. If you have difficulty let them go, you may need to see an IC and discuss them w/her/him. If you don't, this will be the elephant in the room as things continue to get better relationship wise for you and your h.
I think your h is trying to smooth things over in this department. He knows that he has hurt you deeply and is trying to find a way to mend those bridges. As for aging comments, they all are scared of aging and run from it, but it sounds like your h has settled down quite a bit and you know what? You can't stop the aging process and I'm sure you, just like many of us, are aging gracefully. I wouldn't worry about those aging comments.
3. He was curious as to who was calling you at such an early hour. He's forgotten that you have family on the east coast and it's been a routine to chat w/them. As for showing him your phone? He's curious and yes, he most likely thinks you are speaking to someone of the opposite sex. It will be up to you as to whether or not you want to show him who you are talking to...but I do think it's funny that he showed you his phone, after you had gotten the call. He's just like a little child, show me your toy truck and I'll show you mine. LOL!
I think your h is baking up quite nicely in the MLC oven. Don't try to over analyze his every move or word. He's slowly, and I mean slowly waking up a bit. Keep your expectations at zero at all times.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
