That's a long post, and I have many thoughts, but it's hard to get it all replied on my phone. Here's some thoughts:
1) have you read 5 Love Languages? You keep referring to "half a marriage", but I think you're missing the point. For you, it seems, affection is measured in physical touch - hugs, kisses, ML, etc. It's copletwly possible that she shows and RECEIVES her affection in different ways. For her, maybe spending a day together makes her feel loved and feel like she's loving you.
2) you can't just put your foot down and force her to change on your timeline. You can't say "you need to have sex with me or you can't have a smartphone." How do you think that is making her feel? You said you had a heart to heart less than 2 weeks ago. And now you're expecting things to move at a breakneck speed. And you're PUNISHING her for not going at your pace.
I'd advise you to really think about what you want. Do you think that doing these kinds of things are getting you CLOSER to those goals? I can't possibly imagine that it is.
