HP - You posted on one of my early threads. I just read through this thread... I'm glad your posting again.
I'm not going to fall in line with most of the group. So this may prompt so good discussion.
In reading I could see a couple things that stand out. 1 - you are uber focused on your goals and plan. I love goals and plans! But life is what happens between them. Don't be so rigid.
“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.
Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” ― Bruce Lee
Second, your W came to you, approached you with a fairly strong email baring her soul. Did it cover all the bases from DB perspective... No. It contained guilt but not remorse. But since when can one email accurately depict a persons mental state perfectly in 100 words. It seems as if the closer she comes the further you run.
You mentioned that you are open to reconciliation. Is it something you want? Surely going to FL will not get you that and you will spend thousands fighting her (IMHO it was ignorant to think that a mother was going to let you take her kid to another state. You should have realized how bad that would be regardless of what she said).
I believe in a way anger is driving you away from her. Which is understandable. my point is... If you want reconciliation (which I am sure is what your son wants and what is best for him, assuming reconciliation is possible), then test her instead of maintaining distant...
"X - Reconciliation is best for our family, but will require significant effort and growth as individuals and as a couple. My condition for this is the same, no OM. What do you want to do?"
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
