Sleeping Beauty and the Jedi

[Sotto]

"You both have so much going on inside still, are you sure you aren't moving things a little quick? Is it possible to extend your lease, and try dating and getting to know each other slowly again, to begin a new R?"

Hi Cali, sending hugs to you....I've been following along, but TBH you've had such good advice already. I think MLeigh has a point worth considering again. I do think you guys are going pretty quickly into full on marriage again - and ALOT has happened. I can see that you are on a particular course now and it may feel hard to change that. But where would the harm be in suggesting you keep your own place on a little longer to give yourselves a little more time, a little more space to process things and work on re-building? And a little more pressure-free fun....

I think you are on a good course and are making a lot of progress. Equally, you are finding it hard and there is a lot coming at you guys all at once.

Can I also say on the job front - which seems to have been a trigger here...Your W was putting in a lot of effort on the post retrouvaille work before. And that has dwindled now. But she is trying to adjust to full time work again, being a family again, emerging from fog....etc, etc. I can understand the 'homework' starting to feel like 'just one more thing to do that I don't really have time and energy for.' I'm not saying that's right, or even what is happening. But I could understand it.

As an aside, I recently discovered that Retrouvaille is also run in the UK and there's a course this September. Clearly we're not at that point - but just in case someone else is and is reading this!!

I also agree on the couch, and think it might be a good time to consider a 180 on this perhaps?

So, in sum I would say - slow down, breathe, reassess, have a think about sustainability and what you need here to keep moving forwards.....take care xx