Summer of Growth and Acceptance - Part 2

[Zues126]

Ha. There are three reasons a WAS indicates things are going bad with the A:

1. Temp check
2. Cake eating
3. Covering up the truth

STBX always did that as well. I could copy many clips of emails she has sent me almost identical. 'I'm not looking for anything serious so you don't have to worry about that'. 'XXX and I broke up if you even care'. 'We're just friends with benefits. He's never going to be someone I'm serious with'. 'It's just nice to be free to be myself and spend time with people that like me for me'.

Whatever. The one thing it ISN'T is remorse, and a desire to work on your R. Clearly you know that.

As for the whole checking thing, I think the reason I feel so sensitive about it is that I'm still so jaded. Right now I can't even imagine dating another woman. First off, I'm M. But beyond that, if I were looking, if that woman gave me even the TEENSIEST WEENSIEST hint that she was keeping a plan B available, I would be pretty put off. So I'm not saying it's right, normal, or that you're wrong to feel differently. Just that I'm in a very sensitive place right now.

Still, I do choose to be trusting. The day that I am ready for my next and hopefully last partner I will still go all in. As much as I have lost in this D, as badly as I've been hurt, I have no regrets. I'd rather give my partner my trust with my heart and soul, even if I lose everything, than to live in an R where I am trying to avoid becoming too dependent.

Anyway, thanks for talking about it. I get that you didn't know it was an issue for him and you accommodated it anyway. What are you going to do? At the end of the day we're all different people. M is about working through that, not punting. Thank you DB people for keeping me from believing the entire world is a big walk-away party.