The World is A-changin'

[PigPen]

Good job on the 180 E 2.0! He doesn't have to know if you sorta obsessed or not, all he knows that you did something different. And you know too. And you know why. Double win.

As for sleep, I'm not sure if I've posted this for you but it's worked wonders for me and I'm a terrible sleeper. If something wakes me up I used to try to put myself back to sleep by arguing with my W in my head...not that smart.

Try this mantra, just do it as many times as necessary:

I love you, I love you, I love you
Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
Thank you, thank you, thank you

Repeat as needed. I've woken up upset, said, "I'm not saying the stupid mantra. Ok I'll say it twice....I love you, I love you, I...." and then woken up four hours later. Those four hours can be the difference between a productive relatively happy day and one of misery and depression. It's worth giving it a try.

Big hug,

PP

[lonelee]

I can so relate to the whole control thing it is scary to step back and not "do" for i feel i always have done it all in the past so that is hard to change.

i catch myself sometimes wanting to comment or mother if you will when i see something happen that i would normally react to ..
for instance this is me mothering.

when we were out to dinner the other night he spilled a greasy noodle on his shirt.. i did suggest put water on it immediately and then realized maybe i shouldn't have so after that i didn't offer that he should then treat the stain with detergent when he gets home.. hahaha so that shirts probably a gonner now and if not maybe he'll wear it with the stain and not look very attractive.. see my other motive here haha

so i am trying to learn not to control and let him find his way, otherwise how will he learn for himself? on the flip side if he learns all this stuff and ends up coming back home he should be more helpful around the house right ?

[Elly4]

ok, ok,... I'm down tonight and want to talk to H about R and I can't...or at least shouldn't.

STFU.

I can do this.

[Zephyr]

Right there with you E.

Almost Started a bit down that road tonight after a nice kiss that I wanted to go further but could feel in her tension she did not.

I ended up leaving for a walk. Have been sitting at the fountain park for an hour staring at the sun setting.

I have to go home soon...its getting buggy. Then what.

STFU mark...that is what. I hope your smoothie works

[PigPen]

Sorry E and Z, it's pretty crappy that we have people that we love and care about in our lives and want to connect with further but cannot.

Truly I feel for you both and am in the same boat. My W asked for more and more connection for our entire M and I'm willing to talk about any subject on earth right now. Instead I'm home with a book, a bottle of ginger beer, and a notebook full of plans for next year that don't include her. Not fun at all.

How about we all clink glasses on our smoothies, think of happier days ahead and know that our situations will take care of themselves in time.

I'm sending you both hugs, big hug for E, big man hug for Z.

PP

[Azzork]

Stay strong you three.

Remember that there is much power in doing nothing.

[lonelee]

Im right there with you all but not opening that door until im invited by H. Cheers to all.

Misery loves company right?

[Elly4]

Thanks for the support everyone. It does help. Last night my H asked if I wanted him to take our S out for the day so I could get some work done. Sounds nice, but I'm beginning to catch on that whenever he says something like this, he will be meeting up with the OW and will let my S tell me later. I told him that it would be very helpful but that I would like to know what the plans were as our S was involved. He said he was just taking him out for the day. I asked, "with ...?" And he said yes.

So yes I'll get work done, but I'll be thinking of them. I had so little time with my boy this week, and now some other lady is getting my time. This stinks.

Clinking my glasses with you Zephyr, PP, and Lonelee! We will get through tonight.

PP I tried your mantra last night and it helped, thanks.

Azzork, it is so hard to sit back and do nothing after awhile, but I know you are right.

[V2pt0]

E, I must have missed something somewhere. So, your H is still living at home and is having A? Is it EA or PA? And he takes your S around her? Have you set boundaries around the later?

There are so many threads to follow that it is easy to start getting sitchs confused!

[Elly4]

BT here is basically your answer. While I'm not sure about a PA , im willing to bet on an EA.

Thanks Cherry. I asked my H if he was still just friends with the OW or had it moved to a different level. And he said just friends and then wanted to know why. I explained how we have both made comments in the past when divorced friends had brought their significant others into their child's life and how inappropriate that was. He agreed but said he still didn't know what I was getting at. So I got blunt and said that as he wants to move on that he or I might start dating and do we want Z to meet or play with those dates. He seemed appalled and said that we shouldn't be involving out S in our dating. Then he took our S and went to his friend's house. That's what started my thought process.

I don't want to push him away if he is just friends with her (yea I know highly unlikely but it has happened) but I don't want to just sit back either.

No worries about asking me. I just realized this morning that I lost your thread somehow.