What does Retrouvaille mean anyways? Are you and W back together?
I agree with what you are saying above. Its tough love I guess. The bulk of the reasoning is no house and finances not where she thought they should be. We had counseling last August and it went well. I worked hard on everything that was brought up and I was working on being a better dad and husband, not that I was bad before. It all kind of blew up at once and now she wont even talk to me. I think if one of the "ifs" were not there I could have worked on the rest. It was just too much for her at once. Not all that long ago we had a solid M and she would do anything to keep it and make it better. Lots have changed. I do think that depression and the meds she is taking have a lot to do with this.
It means "Rediscovery" ... its a program for marriages, Catholic based. Yes, W announced in Mar she did not want to D, wanted to work on the M, was not for a few months this actually happened. We have been slowly working on things, I have slowly been moving in with her over the past 2 months.
Thing is .. she was looking for an out. The 'IFs' listed are shallow at best and I think you see that ... however you think .. ok if I do this she will love me, she then moves the hoop and its another if... If I do that she will love me .. again .. the hoop moves. The cycle continues and you never get to the goal ... because that goal line is forever moving away from you.
Truth is ... she looked at her life and realized its not all she imagined as a little girl ... reality will never live up to this fantasy, This is called disillusionment and its common, I thought as a boy I would marry and my wife would dress like Mrs Cleaver and bring me sandwiches every day ... we either realize this is life ... or we get upset about where we are and looks like in your case its easier for her to blame it all on you rather than own her share of the issue.
