REad up a bit on your sitch .... one thing that would help is to add a Signature like most of us have so we can have a feel of who you are, who she is .. kids, how long you have been married and together.
As far as where you are at. You validating, doing the 180's, STFU and just listening .... well its throwing her way off and confusing her. Along with that, you caught her ... thats not how her A was supposed to go, your W has had this all figured out and you are gettign involved amd making a mess of things. Currently she is wayward, her head is not on straight ... she is on the A-drug and its effects are very addictive.
Do be careful, when you listen and validate (I am not accusing you of this .. but have seen it) .... it has to be sincere, no angst, judgements .. none of that. When she does spew, put on the spew jacket and just listen ... you can gather alot by a storm by just being outside and observing how the clouds are moving, the wind, the smell .... same holds true here, consider it Recon, intel gathering only and you can use this later ... things you can work on, 180, things picked up while she is spewing can become very valuable to you later.
