helping with housework 180 helping more with the kids 180 getting out more More GAL right? ... but be specific (Poker night with buddies twice a week exercising (mostly golf) GAL doing the laundry 180 stopped the R talks with the W DBing Acting as ifDBing detachingDBing got a second job playing piano GAL stopped drinking as much (I know I need to stop completely) This I will chalk up to Self improvements... Its not a 180, nor a GAL ya know .. but I do think its extremely healthy and beneficial you continue this building a better relationship with my father and brother GAL taking the kids to church GAL hanging out with the kids more GAL--again .. specifics .. zoo/park/mall stopped being a recluse (before BD it was impossible for my friends to get me out of the house) GAL stopped being so negative PMA
These are just some things that came to mind. Any thoughts? are these actually 180s or am I fooling myself. These are things that I didn't do before BD. I just kind of feel selfish for becoming detached. I know I have a lot of work to do on myself and I am feeling stronger everyday. There are some things that will be harder to do such as completely stop drinking. I may need some pro help with that one. Yeah ... that's why your sitch jumps at me, I was that way too. We lose who we are by trying to please those around us, turns out you can not fix things, you can not make someone happy, and for me the fact I could not 'fix her' made me feel like a failure, I lost my self esteem and respect in the process and in turn she lost respect for me... its hard to respect someone who has little respect for themselves right?
Any of you ever feel selfish for detaching and GAL? I was selfish before BD and it feels like more of the same to GAL.
It was a very strange feeling that's for sure. Like you I was all about the family and the W, and gave into what they wanted all the time. Heck even on MY birthdays it was not about a place I wanted to eat, or somewhere I wanted to go ... was more along the lines of .. 'What could everyone enjoy together'. There are a couple books on this ... might be something to look into for you ... it surely opened my eyes ... if you are a reader I will suggest 2 that can help you really see this issue a bit more clearly.
