Question on Family and Friends' Influnce on W

[Avanti]

To give a slightly different slant to your main point EricT, my grown up son, is point blank refusing to talk to my W. He simply doesn't see the point as he is really disappointed and angry at her antics as it has had such an impact on the family as a whole, with her as the only beneficiary (although that's debateable).

Over the last few months, I've: had a quiet word, in email form CCing my W on the dialogue, been very direct almost angry with him to make contact with my W, as his behaviour is not necessarily helping me as it's another thing used against me, it's all my fault as she didn't get the chance to put her side across, tell him what an a$$, I really am blah, blah, blah. The MIL and SIL have also had face to face conversations with him (without me in the room, so they could say what they liked) on the subject of him speaking with his mother.

Do you think any of it's made any difference? To save any suspense, the answer is no.

So do you really think that you speaking with any friends or family will make any difference?

The sad reality is it'll probably make things worse and be used as ammunition against you, maybe even in the D proceedings.

Leave them alone and focus on yourself, you are the only person you can work on and change, after all it's you alone in the DB process, the others get the benefits of your efforts, not the other way around.