All that to say, now I'm adding to my arsenal I simple reply to appropriate emails... "STBX. I'll get back to you on this ASAP." Simple courtesy.
This was suggested to me a while back but I never did it. Now I will to give her some acknowledgment while giving me time to respond in a way that works.
So I did this last night in response to her "I can't believe you're moving" email.
Good job with this brief response acknowledging her email.
Originally Posted By: HPoirot
So, on Sunday I will send her an email. I will acknowledge her feelings of despair and worry, tell her of course I know how S12 must have us both in his life, say I want to work with her on this and I think it can work (repeating her words from her proposal), remind her I am moving to build a life for me AND S12, give her details about where I'm moving and that the location is about S12 (other kids, school, security, fun, etc.), and make a proposal which is basically her proposal plus my offer to pay for 70% of travel expenses to visit S12 as much as possible. I'll say we could set a travel schedule and I would look out for deals and purchase tickets in advance to make it as easy as possible on her. I will also ask her to let me know her concerns b/c I want to address all of them. I will tell her that her comfort with everything is important. I'll offer to pay 70% for the lawyer to make the agreement legal. I'll offer to go with S12 to sessions with the IC about the move.
I wouldn't send out that email at all. I would suggest that you wait until after the L and the child psychologist consultation. W can wait a few more days. It is critically important that you gather as much information and guidance as you can BEFORE you email W.
I hope you're active in reaching out to some child psychologists now that you've booked the L session for this Tuesday.
Your W is spinning and her guilt is eating at her. It is her problem, not yours. Don't be reactive to W. You've got this with being Joe Cool.
