Someone can dislike/hate a person so much that they are willing to go to great lengths to bully, harm and even kill. People justify their negative feelings w/excuses of why they feel the way they do instead of thinking and looking within and asking themselves the most important question...why do I dislike/hate this person so much? Is it because I feel inadequate around this person? Do I feel threatened by this person?
If you are referring to your h, then you need to continue reading up on MLC. Do a search on the net and find information on their behavior. Some become very angry and hateful towards their spouses. They have to vilify the spouse in order to keep the anger and hateful actions going. They have to find ways to justify why they hate us so much. But, what it boils down to is that they truly are angry at themselves, the world, the authority figures that are/were in their lives and we just happen to be front and center and get the brunt of their anger. When he's like this, step away from him, do not engage and leave him be. If you are having a conversation w/him and he gets angry about the topic you are discussing, change the subject quickly to the weather or another general topic. By switching up the topic, he will become confused and anger will settle down.
Bottom line, he truly doesn't hate you. It's part of the MLC journey for him. He's grieving the death of old self. MLC is similar to the grieving we do for someone we have lost. Anger is one of the stages.
Please, do try not to take his behavior personally. You didn't break him, therefore you can't control and/or fix him. Try to keep your focus on you and your family.
Again, I am going to suggest that you do some additional homework and search for MLC and read up on it. Knowledge is power and then you will have a better understanding of what is going on and why.
