Finally asking for help:

[Solo15]

Joe46

Thank you so much for your post. I am really touched by your kindness and wise advice. It means a lot to me to hear that you stood up for yourself and your children. I am really grateful for your time and loving heart that would reach out to a perfect stranger to lend kindness in my darkest time.

Starsky309

Wow what a powerful post. Yeah, I have not read those books but have heard of them and looked into them at one point. You are spot on about all that. I know that these things are true about me. In fact, I struggle with this all the time. I dug super deep when I got hit with the ILYBINILWY bomb. I found a bunch of this stuff about me that I've grown to hate about myself. These things are the best of me, but I've let them devour me as a man. I do need to get my mojo back, and I have become codependent and weak. It started back when I had children. My wife's needs during that time, along with the changes that happen in a man's heart when they become a father opened the tap on my giving and loving nature. I poured it all out on them until I lost myself. It makes sense to me, but I am searching for how to regain what I once was. I know that attraction is the start, and my wife constantly telling me she is really attracted to me even when the affair was revealed confused me. But that attraction is one dimensional. It's not the kind that draws passionate love. She respects me as a man, but doesn't see me as a strong man. That is where I fell down. Thanks for reading my thread and the kind words, what a drama to wade through.

Georgia Bulldogs
Thank you so much for your post. I am a christian, and I struggle with what to do about that. In my head I want this woman to know to protect her family. I worry that it would make my wife insane once she found out what happened. That it would most likely push them together because I would be removing the biggest blockage in them being together. She does have a right to know. She also has a newborn, and I worry about the stress and heartbreak it would put on her in that postpartum place. My children are 9, 8, and 6. I don't know if they are really ready to know this. They are some of the sweetest and brightest lovely little girls in the world. I will give it some thought, but my gut is that they are still too young to know. Bless you brother for reaching out and I am so sorry that you went through this.