10 Months Later... XW Wants To Talk About Us?

[Zues126]

I think we all agree with slowing down, not responding, getting some legal and counseling advice.

HP, I can understand how galling it can be that a woman that left you can still, through your child together, manipulate the options on how you can live your life. And in this case it can feel like being jerked around on a leash.

Trust me, I get it. D is horrible and violating on so many levels.

I've thought about what the worst betrayal would be. Have you seen those movies where a guy is doing something illegal to make really big money (like the guy in Blow, or some Mob movie)? You know, the guy is making bank, he is wining and dining his woman. Then the moment he's in any trouble she turns on him, maybe even calls the police and turns him in, and laughs as he gets hauled to jail. She keeps his kids from visiting and vindictively taunts him about how she's got a new man now and they're better off without a loser like him...

To me that would be the bottom of the bottom. Locked up. Woman turning on you and remarrying. Keeping the kids from you. And skewing their reality so they are mad at you for leaving them and hurting their mom. Meanwhile you're doing laundry and fighting off guys with broomhandles.

But I've realized- if that is what happens, that is what happens. Whatever will be, will be. If God wants me in a prison, then I will try to find appreciation for the life he has given me regardless. It's called unconditional love. I love God and my life unconditionally. If I need STBX, or certain things in my life to be able to be grateful, then I will be miserable, because that's not how it works.

Point is once I was able to accept the thought of my 'worst case scenario' the idea of STBX jerking me around a bit didn't bother me as much.

She can't control you. She can only influence your external life. You are not your external life. You are the person inside that decides how to process all of it. So you are a free bird my friend. Glad you ranted. It's honest. Now work through some of that and be the free bird you want to be!