When is kindness enough?

[Ripe]

Less than 12 hours to fly home and 26h to arrive.
I am very nervous at the prospect of seeing my wife in flesh after almost two months.
When we kissed off, we were separating as a couple working on reconciliation.
Now I am meeting a person that one month ago asked me not to contact her and to give her space and who is avoiding my birthday even if it means not spending the holidays as a family. We will be staying together for three days before she flies back.
It says it all.
I have decided:
- to dedicate myself to the kids and enjoy the holidays in their company;
- to try and keep a PMA;
- to talk politely to W;
- to act as if I am moving with my life;
- to be scarce with words.
This will be half DBing half going on with my life.
I cannot let this person harm me any more as when she accepted half-heartedly a reconciliation I fully embraced.
And I don't want to go back to January when I fully embraced DBing hopping to save the M.
I did that, it seemed to work for a while but then it failed.