Anxiously waiting for it to fall apart

[dejavu2]

Job and Sotto -- thanks for your input on the communication issue.

Sometimes I think I am going crazy when dealing with him because he takes his dysfunctions and wraps them up then insists they are rational and sane. Because I had been living in his midlife crazy vacuum, I had come to believe all the "realities" he tells. It is only by detaching, listening to people around me and watching for examples of loving/caring that I am learning that not everyone lives like this.

Today is a long day of travel enroute back to the funeral tomorrow. I am still struck by the irony of these two similar relationships in my life both changing at the same time. I believe "someone" has a bigger plan for my life.

Tonight I see H for the first time in 7 weeks. Landing at 8p, then I leave for midwest on 5a flight. I have no time/energy to deal with his issues - I have suggested he focus on the girls tonight. After the funeral, I am going to join my family and H in the NE for a few days with family friends.

A few weeks ago I took off my wedding ring. For many years it was stuck on my finger, as I have started to grow with confidence and lose weight I was finally able to get it off in July. It felt like a huge accomplishment. Now I am torn as whether to put it back on the for the trip or not.