Hopeless in NYC

[eclipse]

I haven't been able to work ever since W told me slept around. It's just constant anxiety and a feeling of disgust. I've managed to block it out for the most part, but the images creep in sometimes, and I feel sick to my stomach. First migraine today in over half a year.

So W and I had breakfast the other day. She was acting really sweet and said she's not afraid to touch me anymore...even gave me a small hug. It felt so strange--there was warmth, like a sense of belonging, but at the same time pain and distance. We ate in the car and talked. Some of the things she said were weird though...

She hated how I used to work so much, but now when I tell her I want to cut back to make room in my life for friends/family, she seems vehemently opposed and says everyone must work hard because that's how life is. 180. She said she made a mistake in telling me to reconnect with my mom and sister and that she doesn't like or trust them and I shouldn't either. 180. She says we should get a babysitter to watch D so we can run off and spend lots of time together. 180. What is going on? I feel like she's trying to recreate the life she ran away from. Then she told me about some happiness group we should attend on the weekends. Huh? She's mapping out our time already? How did she flip so quickly??

I feel so lost and confused, mentally and emotionally. IC isn't helping with that at this point. Did I mention the W thinks we need a marriage counselor?