10 Months Later... XW Wants To Talk About Us?

[Zues126]

When STBX asked me to leave the house I was devastated. My M was over. My life as I knew it was no more.

She proposed I visit the kids every other weekend and one night a week. At that moment I was under extreme emotional duress. I had a full time job and had to keep working. I didn't have a place to have time with the children. I didn't know if I'd be able to manage having the children more than that anyway as I'd been a distant father compared to the man I was now. I agreed to that schedule for the time being, and may have even implied that would be ok with me.

Since then I've gotten my own place. I'm in a healthier place emotionally. And I am a great father. Most importantly, the children NEED me. They are blossoming around me, I can actually see them bloom while we engage together. They need their mom too, but we bring different things and I am so grateful I have this time with them and they are getting what they do need from me. It is making them healthier and happier children.

Now we are in mediation, and may go to court. I am not going to accept less than 50% parental time, even if that means we go to 6/14 nights for a year and then 7/14 going forward when the youngest is in school. STBX doesn't like that it's "disrupting their schedule during the school year". She disrupted it by asking for a divorce. She has already hurt my children enough by modeling the behavior of walking out on a marriage, she isn't going to hurt them more by depriving them of their dad. There is a chance that we can work this out L to L, but if not I am prepared to go 12 rounds in the courts if I need to.

This is regardless of what we discussed the first few months after BD.

A parent should ALWAYS have access to their children if they want it. I don't care what she said. I don't care if she changed her mind. I don't even care if she's doing this to control/manipulate you. She's being available as a mother to your child. There is absolutely nothing in FL, money, sun, alligators, NOTHING, that can replace the loss your child will incur if you try to deprive your child of their mother.

Personally I don't think the courts would even consider that request with a mother that wanted to stay involved. A 6 month old email exchange is not a binding contract, not enough for the courts to rule against a mother and child having a relationship. I'm no L, that just seems obvious.

I think you got way too carried away with this, I think you jumped the gun on the move, and I think you're making a terrible mistake to even try to fight this one. Not only won't you get what you want, you'll be setting the stage for a severely adversarial coparenting relationship, and your child will eventually learn of your attempt to take their mother away (which is how they'll see it).

PS- I love FL too. Alligators and SunnyB. If I didn't have family here I'd be halfway through Georgia by now...