Finally asking for help:

[Joe46]

Solo, sorry for the bad news. You are getting excellent advice from Azzork and HP. I also was in a bad place when I cam here, like most of us. I am not a big one on giving advice, but I can tell you what has worked for me. Read and reread DR, all the posts in Cadet's welcome thread. Print off Sandi's rules. Even though you are hurting badly, GAL like never before. Take your kids with you. Take them anywhere. Find lots of fun things to do together. It helped me a bunch. WW complained about it, but so what!! She was to wrapped up in her A for me to include her in things. And I decided awhile ago that having a A was a deal breaker for me. I am NOT her plan B or the person she comes back to one day while trying to get over her "love affair". Stand up for yourself! But don't do it in anger! Do it because you want to learn from what mistakes you made in the marriage and not repeat them in your next relationship. And also because you want to be the better man and the bigger man.

I sat my WW down one day and apologized for all the wrongs that I KNEW I had done. I asked for forgiveness. That was me cleaning up my side of the street. After that, I went about taking care of myself. I knew that I did my best and also knew that the things I had done wrong in my marriage did NOT justify her having an affair. Today my focus is me and my kids. I don't think about WW very much. To be honest, I am happy she is not here. I am at peace. I am HAPPY NOW with me!! All I want to do is be the best DAD I can be for my kids. Hang in there!! It gets better!!