Yea, I get to see her and to be honest im not sure if that's a good thing. She ignores me and everything I do. Unless she needs money or needs to talk to me about the kids. The hurtful thing is that she seems unaffected for the most part. I am still trying to stay hopeful even when it seems hopeless.
You need to stop worrying about what SHE is doing .. focus on ... yep .. you guess it YOURSELF here, you can not act like a puppy begging for her attention.
Originally Posted By: tkdmme
Another thing that bothers me is her attitude toward my family. She has always had a great relationship with them and now she doesn't talk to them at all. They have done a lot for us over the years.
She fired you ... and your supporting cast. This is just the norm ... her relationships with the kids, your family, the chick at 7-11 are HER issues .. you have your own stuff to worry about .... the more energy you spend on all HER stuff is less you are applying to yourself and you need every ounce of it ... stop wasting time and energy on things outside your realm here ... its pointless ... cheeseless tunnels right>?
Originally Posted By: tkdmme
I know that the DB program is the only chance I have but it just seems like this will never end. I want my family back together and I don't know if that will ever happen. What makes this so hard is the not knowing. I am trying to embrace and accept it but it gets too hard sometimes.
Not a program .... We all want to save the M, and our family. But here is the deal with all this .. and more importantly not knowing. I will share what I have learned ... now its been about 2 years for me and all this. I honestly would have NEVER done the work, the hard work, the really uncomfortable part of looking at myself and changing what I needed to change if someone here, in real life, even if God told me "Cali .. in 2 years you will be back with your W and have your family back" ... I would have just held out for the time to pass and been exactly who I was when my W left me .... imagine how this would play out for my future M .... it would repeat and I would have to live that pain all over again. Use this time as a gift ... learn the lessons you need to learn out of all this, regardless if you get to use what you learned in your next M with your W (The old M died at BD) or maybe its with someone else as you have already alluded to. Its your chance to give the next special person in your life the improved version .. the version who learned from his mistakes and will refuse to ever allow himself to go down that road again.
Originally Posted By: tkdmme
I have been going to bed as soon as we put the kids down in an effort to stay away from her but I lay there wanting to go out and talk to her until I eventually fall asleep.
I know I could have another woman if I wanted to and I know that I will eventually be ok but that's not what I want for me or our kids. They don't deserve this. She is willing to make everyone around her unhappy so that she can feel happy.
Really? To early to even go there ... this is what I call 'hurt little boy moments' wanting to hurt her like she hurt you .. will not get you where you want to be will it ... so I would suggest not entertaining such thoughts as they are not coming from a place of strenght .. more out of fear.
Originally Posted By: tkdmme
I told her early on before DB that we know that divorce will lead to more heart ache and devastation. However, we don't know where we would be if we both tried to make this work. She refuses to even entertain the thought of us ever being together again.
Im just so sad.
She fired you ... and right now she does not want the M to the tkd she has in her head .... your choice to change him and slowly allow that new tkd .. or TKD 2.0 as I have called it to gradually wear on her, to make her second guess what she thinks she should do, is doing and will do.
