have i been making mistakes too long part 4

[dwh15]

im hanging in there like a loose tooth.
This is so hard to deal with. knowing that you are not wanted in the house that you provided is unbearable. I have spent my whole adult life building this and in one day it is all destroyed by the person who said she would be my partner forever. I am trying not to be resentful and bitter but im just disgusted at what she is doing to our family.

Sorry for spewing.

It's terrible man. Not sure what else to say, except that a lot of us are going through the same stuff. At least you still get to see your W. I guess it's a mixed blessing. Mine moved out months ago and now I might see her once a week for 5-10 minutes. And she's always in a hurry to get going, like she's extremely uncomfortable being around me. I think part of it is probably guilt over what she's done, but it still hurts.

I just try to keep a PMA around her, focus on being upbeat and casual. I can usually pull it off, but then mild depression sinks in after she's gone and I have the same thoughts as you. How did I get here? What did I do to deserve this? There are no answers that make sense.

I take some comfort in knowing that my life is slowly but surely getting better. I can see a point where my pain will be minimal. I don't see the same for my WW; she's making life altering decisions in a rush, while doped up on infatuation. I'm doing my best to hang on for the sake of my family, but not sure I'm going to make it. I probably have at least another year of this and I plan to be so detached by then I don't think I will want her back. I think she's probably got a very rough road ahead of her the next few years but that isn't my problem to worry about right now. We just gotta keep with the program and fix ourselves.