In terms of the talk. Be sure you LISTEN and VALIDATE what she says. You don't have to agree with WHAT she says, but you have to agree that she has a RIGHT to think the way she does.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Hey MrBond, well we sat down small chatted then she just came out and started telling me about how she feels, she said made the right decision to leave as everything is going great.
She mentioned I have changed a lot too much that she sees she wouldn't be with me because now Im too good when before I was too bad but Im not in the middle. WTF!!!
She doesn't want counseling or any of that as her mind is set. She cant let go of the verbally abusive negative past.
She says she loves me but isn't in love with me, says there is no romantic feelings and such.
I listened, validated, agreed, disagreed without argument, smiled, I smelled and looked good for the meet.
When we left, she hugged me, I cried, she cried, she hugged me, complimented me on smelling good. I left, got home, she called, we talked, cried, joked, said goodnight.
I guess everything went good, I didn't let her get to me nor did I get to her.
Keep moving forward with MY LIFE without expectations from her.
Slept great, but woke up sad this morning, opened up old wounds I guess. I know today will be a great day!
I also mentioned to her I didn't feel comfortable her joining my group since that is my place of comfort that I found when I was going through deep depression from our separation.
I really don't understand why she wants to be a part of my life but wants a divorce..
You what's easy for a WAS? --- Saying "I want to get a divorce". You know what else is easy for a WAS? --- Getting divorced.
You know whats NOT easy for a WAS? --- BEING divorced.
A couple months back, my WW unfriended me on facebook. But two weeks later started spewing at me for something I had written there in the interim (totally unrelated to anything with our situation). So - she took me off of her friends list, but is still reading everything I put there.
I found in my sitch W wanted all the cake .. not only her slice but mine too. You will see movement/reactions when these things do not come into play just as they plotted out in their WAS heads.
I have a bag full of these types of reactions ... W went out with OM on a weekend get-away, the following weekend I went out with a group of friends for dinner and drinks ... ofcourse you can not control who puts what on FB ... My phone blew up that night and the next morning about 'never taking W on a 'date' .... I never replied and the next day she called ... spewed ... and received a "Seriously?" along with a click from me.
PigPen posted a nice little phrase that really hit me today ... falls in line with this "No one has the same reality! Everything that is real to you could be completely different to someone else." I think the WAS really falls under this line of thought most of the time ... might help the LBS process a bit of the crazy we have been handed.
