Eric, you are doing great. The only way I can figure out to counteract the negative influence of others is to just hold my head up high and not give them any reason to lash out at me. I am trying to be pleasant and easy to be around, hoping that my H will feel safe and good around me. That is all I can do. Whenever I am tempted to do something else, I pray, turn on music, play with my kids, do something to calm myself down and get my thoughts off that which I cannot control.
You are in the right place, you are doing the right things. It is hard we get it. Keep it up, you will be ok.
