Need advice for a WW who left Part 3

[dwh15]

Had a meeting with the school this morning regarding S10. As mentioned, he's on the autistic spectrum and we're still trying to figure out exactly where he is going to attend and any special accommodations that the school will provide. WW attended as well, and sat at the other end of the table, about as far away from me as possible. Meeting went fine, we both contributed, and then walked out to the parking lot together.

Talked for a few minutes and she reassured me that she was in this with me, and didn't want me to feel like a single parent. Discussed needing to modify the parenting schedule, as she wants to start keeping the kids overnight on a more regular basis, which I am fine with. Told her we need to take the choice away from them and just state that is how it's going to be. Still not sure that's what she really wants, but I need to let her see for herself. My big concern is she keeps trying to bring OM into the picture and saying that he may need to babysit on days where the kids stay the night and she has to work the next day. I am VERY uncomfortable with the idea but not sure I have much choice. I've already ran a criminal background check on him and found nothing.

So we agreed to think about schedules and meet soon to discuss and finalize a plan. She did comment again on my weight loss and how good I looked. I was dressed up for the meeting in business casual and even had cologne. Always look your best, right? It was funny that the school principal walked up on us as we were talking and made a comment about how great I looked. He hadn't seen me in a few months. He kept going on about it, and then at the last minute looked at my wife and said, oh you look good too. LOL. That seems to be happening a lot lately. I had an old friend yesterday who I hadn't seen in a while say I looked 10 years younger.

So I think I came across as calm, overall upbeat, and with an attitude of cooperation. WW seemed to me like she was still processing some regret, or guilt, or something. She seemed almost a little stressed, and I have no idea why. But I feel good about our talk, and after we went our separate ways, I'm not even moping about it. I really am detaching and reaching a point where I'm not sure if I would want her back or not. In some ways, I'm glad I don't have to live with the decisions that she has made. I wasn't given a choice but am trying to make the best of what landed in my lap. WW will always have to deal with some level of regret, and uncertainty about whether she made the right call.

Oh, the one mistake I made was at the end of our talk, she reached over and gave me a hug, and out of instinct, I said Love You. It wasn't planned, but just sort of slipped out before I even realized it. She said it back, but I was kicking myself. Gotta be better prepared for those interactions.