Thanks Asitis and Cadet.

I messed up, but I'm fed up as well. I did everything I did good and bad and I accept it. Just need to stick with the plan.

Control issue...yes.

I intend to get counseling or in a group for control and anger.

Good thing I am not drinking anymore...crazy thing is I don't even care to drink.

...I know I'm a good person and wonderful father and dad, but this woman portrays me as a monster and she even says i'm not.

...why would she tell her friends if I made some changes she would reconsider then tell me it's over and done and we can't be together.