Summer of Growth and Acceptance - Part 2

[V2pt0]

Ok, some more reflection. I realize my biggest issue with detachment, or lack thereof, is the irrational statements from H. That is what draws me in the most with the unproductive conversations. I can't seem to walk away or STFU. I instead feel the need to try and make him see how he is being irrational, which then causes me to act irrational. What a vicious cycle.

Case in point, on Tuesday when we spoke, he tried to convince me that I don't understand that he is justified in having A because his needs were not being meet. That the relationship he has with OW is no different than me speaking to my IC or a female friend. That I don't understand that he does not see a long term relationship with this person, so he can compartmentalize A and not have it affect his ability to clearly look at our M. Of course, I found myself drawn in to trying to rationalize with him, which is one big cheeseless tunnel. It is hard to find anything in this to validate other than his needs were not being met. I said I 100% agree with this and I have huge regrets. Should I just have left it at that, STFU and walked away? Just trying to learn how to better respond in the future. It is just so over the top crazy to me that I feel need to try and help him see the light.