10 Months Later... XW Wants To Talk About Us?

[HPoirot]

Hello Sotto. To answer your questions, we informally split custody. Although she suggests an even split schedule at the beginning of every month, S12 spends more nights with me b/c XW either can't keep the schedule due to her work and asks me to keep him, or S12 asks to stay with me instead. He has never asked to stay with her more time than schedule.

We live in the NE USA now, so the move would be a plane trip away. She suggested in detail in April how we could split the time with summers and time off from school. But I would be getting him to school and spending the most time with him. That is fantatic as I work from home and have a very flexible schedule. She relies on this b/c I'm always around to keep S12 when she couldn't this summer.

As to her concerns, since January she knew I wanted to go to Florida. It was in April that my company offered to pay for me to move there and I let her know. She replied detailing the way the move would work in a year instead of the immediate move I proposed. I agreed it was a good plan and agreed not to move immediately so S12 could go to 6th grade here and start 7th grade in Florida. I did not, though, push to have that agreement legal and now she says she is baffled and says I'm leaving S12?

So there was a defined plan, I proposed something and she countered and I said hers was a good plan. I did not get it legal and now here we are.

It seems I have to remind her of things she said. Now she's saying she only implied S12 could go. This is one of the reasons I only speak to her in emails... so I can have a record. I don't know that matters now though.

I would post her letter from last night if it helps explain.

In any case, I have one goal... to get to Florida with my S12 to start a new life. I have been patient with my XW. Even she said so in and email from a couple weeks ago.

But it keeps going back and forth. Now she's says in her email... "HP I hope this makes sense to you and I pray with my soul that you will consider not moving to Florida, that you will stay and be a regular part of S12's life."

She's writing like I'm abandoning my son! I feel like I must remind her that I proposed to leave immediately with him but instead agreed to what she asked for... stay here this year, then move to get settled in Florida before she brought S12 down.

Like I've been told many times here, as reality creeps in XW will lash out and get controlling. She has made promises to me and S12 in moments of crisis only to lash out and break them when reality set in.

The reality is, she will have a hard time with S12 on her own. She works in an office job she said she hates and travels. She has said she is seeing more of OM. S12 says she wants to move from her apartment b/c it's junky (he said he has to take baths sometimes b/c there is no water pressure for showers). She has not helped S12 at all with his Summer school work.

I, on the other hand, would love to take care of S12 on my own. I work from home, live in a beautiful condo and would have a wonderful home in Florida. I would pick him up from school on time everyday and would be able help him with his homework. I would continue to teach him programming and Spanish and make sure he does his music lessons everyday. I have family close in Florida where S12 could stay when needed.

I want to respond today. I'm thinking I send her an email now like... "I got your message and will get back to you." Then later in a more brief way than my last letter attempt state I am moving, remind her of her plan, propose that she send me her specific concerns so I can address them, and let her know that S12 knows the plan.

I am keeping PMA today. Whatever happens.