have I been making mistakes too long part3

[tkdmme]

I agree, Its just not easy at the moment. I have slacked off of the drinking but I still use it to numb myself. I know in my posts lately that I sound like im doing well. I am doing better but the hurt is still there. It creeps up on me from time to time during the day. Im just trying to deal with it differently now. Instead of letting it drag me down, I make an effort to change my mindset. This does not always work.

Things at home have not changed. At least concerning my M. The W just goes about business as usual and I just try to stay away from her. At this point I cant be around her to much or I may try to start a R talk. I just want this to be over. Her decision has caused a great deal of hurt for everyone around us, including her family. Everyone keeps telling me to pray that God will change her heart. I say the same prayer every morning.

I feel like im loosing my mind sometimes. This detaching and GAL is so much different than the way I have lived for the past 10 years. I feel like im forcing myself to do these things out of desperation.

Anyway, Im not feeling to great today. My hope for my M is slowly fading and the more I detach the faster the hope leaves.