Sorry to hear it turned out like this for you and your family. I’ve been following your threads since September and can say I went back and read every single post to your threads due to the similarity in our sitches.
A definite “thank you” goes out to Starsky and all the others who offered good advice throughout your ordeal. I know Starsky helped me realize I had to decide what was and was not acceptable in my marriage. I used his advice to clearly set my boundaries and I would live with the consequences of standing for something. I knew it was something that had to be done, but it is hard knowing it could lead to D and alternating homes for the kids.
I said all that to say the XW and I signed the final decree just this month. We did mediation and had the agreement in place by the end of February. She cheated, repeatedly, and I got to move out of the house. Go figure. I too thought it was best for the kids and their stability that she stayed in the house. None of this was easy, but I hope I can help since I’ve recently survived a similar ordeal. If you have questions, ask away.
I will say the whole concept $ucks but it does get better. I moved out in March and started the schedule with the kids. It’s not easy on the kids, and they have ups and downs, but they’re doing fine. But, as soon as I was out of the house and away from her, I could see things clearly. I got my appetite back and could actual sleep through the night without chemical assistance. Keep exercising and focus on your health and the kids. The boys and I go for a walk almost every evening I have them.
To keep this short for now (too late) I’ll end with this. I too was expecting an amicable D. But don’t expect that to happen with sunshine and lollipops. I had to fight like hell for my lopsided agreement. It was a grind the whole time. I was in the same frame of mind I think you are in, you really don’t care about the stuff, and you’d give it all away to have an intact family. But Sho, that’s not the hand you and your kids were dealt. Don’t expect amicable from someone so selfish that she repeatedly crapped on your marriage and family to have her affairs. All the lying and cheating doesn’t just stop. My XW just got angry at me for wanting a fair shake. I experienced the same alien takeover of the person I thought would never betray me and my family.
Your marriage just turned into a business transaction, a horrible business transaction. Sorry bud. I’ll keep you and your kids in my T&P.
Me: 37, W: 36 S6, S3 M: 8 T:11 Discovered 1st A: 9/3/14 Began DB: 9/20/14 W "ended" 1st A repeatedly Discovered at least 3 more A's, filed 10/29/14
