Thank you for sharing your experience. Although I am in the very beginning of the process (husband left, no legal proceedings yet he is still considering whether he wants to work on relationship, don't think there is OW) I can relate to you questioning his character because he is not putting his S first. "I want to cry for this person he has become, he is so cruel". These are my sentiments as well. My husband does not want to give me full child support. He wants me to just give him an informal list of expenses. I feel scared to push for it cause I know that this will lead to no chance for reconciliation. My husband also always slept late and missed picking up my kids from school 4x.
I just had my first session with a DB coach and discussed my anger and resentments and talked about many of his selfish acts now and throughout our relationship. She told me to pretend I was my husband and answer questions about myself and my flaws. She helped me to empathize a little with him and it helped my anger. She pointed out that I should try to see things from his perspective and to not focus on my frusturations and Dissapointments. She told me to try to understand that his perception equals his reality. I felt better after I talked to her because I was no longer consumed with anger. I still feel like he is wrong and a lot of the times I am still furious but that night I did sleep better. The coach seemed to lean for going along with a list but our time was running up and I would need to clarify that during our next conversation. I would save any money not used for the kids immediatly for their futures and I know my husband would not...but if by compromising on this, it could help with reconciliation this would be best for kids in the long run. (Something I find myself questioning now as well is whether I want reconciliation with such a cruel person)
Anyway, I am impressed by your strength in not backing down for what is best for your son. You seem like a wonderful mother and good luck.
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
