Well I'm certainly not a fan of "wait it out," that's for sure. "Little Bo-Peep" rarely (ever?) works. Affairs are HIGHLY addictive, and what addiction that you know of goes away on its own? It usually ESCALATES, and/or transfers to another source (from alcohol to drugs, from one type of gambling to another, from OM1 to OM2 etc.).
I've been on these forums since April of 2004, thru three different usernames and over 25,000 posts. Studied HUNDREDS of affairs, and personally counseled many people one-on-one. And I've really only seen two basic approaches work:
"Puppy's Short Version, All-Inclusive Advice" for Waylayed Spouses Who Just Got Bombed"
1. Get proof (of whether or not there's OM/OW). Hint: There almost always is.
2. Do either:
2a. Aggressive affair-busting (see Allen A's posts over in Infidelity)
Those are the only two things I've seen work. If #1 turns up nothing, then proceed to #2b. And in the meantime, GAL your ass off, and become the better option. Best case, you'll attract them back, and at a minimum you'll become a better person that will be more attractive to SOMEBODY in your next relationship.
