I am bringing this post of yours from today in another thread:
Originally Posted By: HeavyD
So wife left me for the AP. She asked if she could have an open marriage in order to be with the AP. I said no, I am not comfortable with this, we have never discussed this before, so no, I am not comfortable.
She continued it to a PA. I then told her that one of us would have to leave our marital house, she chose to leave.
So, in my mind, that is her choice, she knew my boundry and did her thing knowing it would be the end of our marriage.
Awful situation but most of the advice on the board has been to wait it out until the A cools off. D papers have been filed, lawyer called and will have some stipulations for me to review next week.
I don't want this divorce, but see no other way out as this is her wish.
Your suggestion? Let her go? or Fight the D and stand for the marriage.
What do YOU want, Heavy?
If the answer is standing for the M, then I'd put the D paperwork on hold.
When I read your comment "let her go"...I sense you want someone to give you permission to set her free. Well, you've already set her free when you've said no to open M and she's moved out of the house. That's her choice.
Letting go doesn't necessarily mean that you've given up at all.
Letting go and moving on are two very separate things.
One can let go and continue standing for the M.
Moving on means just that...you've elected to cease standing for the M and completely accept that D is the next step. You are not quite there emotionally and mentally. I would aid spiritually as well.
