FIDO - Changing the Rules - Pt 3

[jim0987]

Hi NH,

I'm going to jump in here. I have no idea if you're familiar with my situation but heres the key points you need.

my XW had OM1 (PA) for a bit but he didnt want more. Things cooled but she chased. He still didn't want more so there was OM2 and I think maybe OM3 but she kept chasing OM1.

She didn't keep me hanging I was kicked to the kerb. OM1 was the only thing she cared about and her pursuit paid off. They are now happily living together.

Now during this time I was a wreck, but I was trying to do what I thought was DB'g. So I kept the peace, I didn't confront her with what I knew and I allowed the facade of happy family. It didn't make any difference to her but looking back I traded my self respect in order to keep the peace

And how could my XW respect someone that doesn't respect themself - she still holds me in contempt - and as Sandi says, no respect = no attraction.

and all this for what? Because I still ended up on my own and OM1 is bonding nicely with my kids.

Looking back, had I acted with self respect, behaved like Sotto when she found her H was cheating, then my situation may be no different but I could hold my head a bit higher.

You may wonder why I'm saying this to you. Its because, you W still has half a foot in the door, there is still some doubt and you still have the opportunity to act with integrity and self respect. If you walk out in the right way you can always walk back. Trade the respect and its gone for good.

NH, its your life so do what you think is right but I wanted to offer my perspective on how things could go and to say the red lines you draw now don't always hold up as well as you think they might

Take care.