I am really curious, what are the typical results after the first 30 days of absolutely no contact. I doubt we have gone 2 days in the last 20 years of no contact. What would normally happen in this situation? What are other peoples experiences?
Duke - I think your focus is in the wrong place. The way I see it, there has to be two things happen for any situation to turn around. 1) the fantasy idea that the WAS/WS has of the future has to kinda fall apart. Through family, medical, parenting, AP, whatever issues, SOMETHING or somethings need to happen to show them that the dream world they had in their head is not the actual world. 2) The LBS has to prove that the best option is to return. That they are a different person and that a new M can and will be successful.
From what I can gather, both of those points are critically important. With that said, the no contact is not something that will spur the change, necessarily. I believe that there are many benefits of not having contact, but by itself, it isnt really going to do too much.
In your case, she's on a month long VACATION right now. WITH the kids. It isnt like shes struggling, or lonely, or having problems in the "real world". Im guessing that the no contact actually has very little impact on her.
But there are some other benefits. 1) you arent making things unknowingly worse with pressure on her or talking about your R or the separation or anything. 2) you dont have to see her in "vacation mode" 3) you get some space to be able to live. You get some practice on your own. You get some space to grow.
