Wow RD, that's a great view. Lots of hope, learning, humbleness feelings that will take you to another chapter in your life.
You are doing everything humanly possible and it is up to your W to see, learn and understand that people make mistakes, learn from their mistakes, change the reaction to other peoples actions, see the world in a different angle.
But who knows if she will ever get there, give the M a chance and in a way give herself a chance to make things right, even if she comes to the conclusion that she can share life with you anymore. She also needs that closure as much as you do, she is just blind to see how this will affect her in a long run.
I have a friend in Brasil that told me why she left her H, she said that life was hard with three kids and that she did not see any beauty or comfort in her M anymore. One day, she kissed a friend from work and decided that her M was really done.
She became very distant from her H and had no desire to work on the M anymore. They got divorced and she now think what would be!. She told me she does not regret most of her decisions, but she will always guess if she did the right move and if there was nothing she could do different.
Her little flirt with the colleague did not last and she has been by herself for quite awhile now. She is happy with her life and life with the kids, but she blames herself for a lot of things that never had a chance to be worked on.
Our WAS may never decide to come back, change their decision, look at the total picture and work things out for their family's benefit. But they will also guess at some point in their life of what if... they had given a chance.
Time will tell, and in the meanwhile RD need to make his life work. It's hard to look at your life, yourself and your family and turn 360 and start all over again.
It's hard when you have teenagers (homemade ninja turtles) and just move on. I just think that time heals and it also show us new stuff in life. WE JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN TOMORROW!!
So, lets keep dreaming, there are believes that when you dream you are already half way of that become reality.
I know you love your wife, and I can say the same about my XH. But I also know what kind of love it became. So we can dream.
Thanks for being a person that give himself a 2 x4 on a head, put a face in the mud and then stand up again and change to make himself a better person, a better father, a better hubby to some lucky lady.
With love and big hugs to you and the kiddos. Pink
