Not linear at all. It will take a long time. I have accepted that. I am prepared for that.
I am working hard to accept this for what it is, not the end of the world, but not what I wanted. This is not what I thought we wanted. This is not what I worked for 20 years for. But here it is.
We deserve to be treated kindly and with love and without lies and decit and broken trust and all of that negativity. We are all human and make many many mistakes. That is all in the past.
The best we can do now is to try to enjoy the day, and create a beter future for ourselves and children. I will continue the path of living my integrity and will eliminate self sabotaging thoughts and behaviors. I will stop trying to control others in thought or deed.
No one ever said life would be easy.
I am with you Asitis. You have given so much great advice to so many on this board. Be kind to yourself and know this process with really mess with your mind if you let it. Know what you want, know what you can and can't accept from your W. Is she capable of giving you what you need? Are you capabale of giving her what she needs? Maybe just a lot of time is what will help, time and patience.
