Hi all. Just a recap. I got the ILYBNILWU speech but with the twist of can we remain together to raise kids and spend our lives together EXW did not want to be intimate anymore. After a refused EXW did offer to see a C but I refused and it just escalated. I found EXW had an OM who to this day she tells everyone is just a friend OM is a bi polar alchoholc with other issues.
EXW did seek help re her own IC and we did try MC but it came to a head and EXW left for her own flat. Since she's left she has lost about 2 stone is constantly unwell and has been diagnosed with depression. She does call to house most days and makes dinner for kids 3 of those days We do chat and I'm friendly and EXW will text and call me most days.
EXW sees the same L/C I do and EXW seems to be very lost. She states her life is not a happy one but believe 50 % of what they say. EXW has come forward on a few occasions but I won't even attempt to guess why
On the RD front , I was very old fashioned and let EXW do most of the housework and cooking We didn't go out much and I didn't spend anywhere near enough time with my kids. Looking back I never made EXW feel valued and important as her own person I have now taken over the care of my kids I run the house and myself and the kids have become a unit We have a great life and should have had it sooner but life's funny and it takes something this big to realise.
I don't take all the blame on the M ending and I wish EXW had fought more for US but that's my perspective and hers is proberbly very different
It's 10 months since EXW left and I'm in a much better place I enjoy my kids , I work to bring on my business and I remain in Love with EXW
I don't chase , mention R or anything like it unless EXW does and even then I use the 80 percent rule. I do validate and I don't defend my position because I don't think its something that EXW can hear right now.
That's the Rd story in a nutshell. I've found great friends in this site and I would recommend any newbies to involve yourself in others sitchs because it helps you and them. Life does get better and I'm only at the start of my journey My life will be full and happy again just like us all.
Just s quick shout out to my peps who have more than helped me get through this time
Pink ( the lady I should have married ) Sotto ( a more caring person you wouldn't meet and wise beyond her years ). Vanillia ( my sister from another mother ) Sunny ( always there with the hard questions but ones that need to be answered ) Jim. ( a model on fatherhood and deep thinker , even if he doesn't agree) Bob and all the vets that have helped. ( MrBond )
This is the hardest time in my life so far. All I can control is myself and how I deal with this. I hope to emerge stronger and a much better person
If any of you knew me before this , you would see a huge change and a much needed one
