Sorry Cat. Not sure how much to disclose... I was focused on certain things I guess. I've been in the trenches with this for 5-6 months or so. The EA, as best as I can tell, was probably going for 8 months, more or less. So panic has mostly subsided with occasional flare ups, or down moments, etc. I am former military so I try to be more succinct, though not always successful. That factors in (the military angle) to how my husband perceives me: not "feminine" in personality/comms. To look at me, I've got all the feminine markers (no problem getting compliments that way). But...I know I have been a leader, and he doesn't want a co-leader in marriage, he wants a "wife", KWIM (or rather, KWHMs). Softer, as you say. I don't know what that looks like exactly. But I do feel like I'm learning. Everyday I've either been successful or recognized my failure in being more "feminine" in these ways.
And yes, serious (somewhat), high morale code. Honor and responsibility is important. I'm the do-er.
Last edited by kyrie; 08/19/1503:34 PM.
Me: 42, H: 38 Married: 12 years (second M for me) 14D, 9D 2015 EA (PA??), porn addict, *pastor/counselor* MLC
At a counselor, he said he wanted the marriage but not to work on himself w/a IC. Piecing?
