Eh. Rough night of dreaming about my W. Haven't had that in a few weeks. In it she was explaining to me that although the last few months of our M were our most communicative, it was just too little too late. And then she handed me D papers.

Since the above appears to be the truth I can't say much else about it. Would rather have dreamed of something more pleasant but today is a new day.

Been thinking a lot about the idea of subjective reality and how what each partner in an M feels is real to them. This is a big step as my past pattern has been to argue about what is "true" and "not true". This week I've really been opened up to the idea that what is true for one may not be true for the other but there's no real point in spending time and energy trying to change someone's view of their own experience.

This past weekend my W told me that she left because my issues were escalating. In my experience, they were actually getting better in our last six months as we connected more. However, in her experience they were not. I spent some time on Monday upset about this arguing with her in my head. Now I see that it was simply her experience, based upon her own feelings, biases, and how she saw things. I had my own experience that was simply different. While she can't convince me that mine is wrong, I can't convince her of the same. It was different for both of us.

Probably sounds like emotional intelligence 101 to most folks on here, but it was a big realization for me.

Have a great Wed everyone.

PP

M 39 W 36
T5 M3
BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day
Served 9/15
D finalized 6/17