I have thought each through and idk how they will play out.

I have no intention of moving so maybe the worst that can happen is an in house separation. That would be worse than her leaving for me mentally.

I don't want to pressure her to stay. I don't even need her to decide now. U guess I want her to know I don't want to continue this way.

Thanks Cadet.

All other advice or comments are welcome . I have an action plan to work on me etc and other controllables. But I fear that if I don't think this through now I may end up letting it all out in a bad unretrappable way.

R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together