hold on! - 11

[u-turn]

Just journaling and updating - this is near the end of this thread and these threads seem to read like chapters in my life (lately each thread has been lasting about month or so)

The end of this chapter has me sitting in my L's office this afternoon signing the papers (decree and financial protection restraining order) to be submitted to the county court system tomorrow. She will be served in two to three weeks (this is longer than he originally stated). This time is going to be difficult for me - luckily I am busy, and generally well functioning these days.

I still do not know if I am going to tell WW that this is coming, and I have not worked up a script for the day when she gets served - I will likely want to give her a very short succinct "why" statement - but it is probably unnecessary at that point.

I am not going to tell the kids until after she is served.

I felt very ashamed of this when I left the L's office and headed home and wondered if I could face my kids - I did ok when I saw them - I am happy when I am around them (even with the ever-changing moods of a 15 year old girl ) .

I was planning dinner (just kfc tonight - with two jobs and the L meeting, that's what I could do) was heading out the door when WW came home - she questioned my decision to just get fast food for dinner, snatched the coupon out of my hand and stormed out to get it. OK - not a big deal here, but S17 saw all of that and when she left, he asked me "why the hell does she think you can't handle anything around here - you've been doing everything for us for years now - I am getting so tired of this". He sees the fleeting supermom act as just that - an act.

I went outside with him to talk so D15 didn't hear and told him that I hope all this didn't hurt him and I was worried about his sister. He said that she talked to him and she is angry too.

I thanked him for sharing this and this helped me cope with my feelings about the decisions I am making.

Onward - I recon the upcoming new chapter will be eventful.

Thanks everyone!