In the note above indicating you should NOT go in with a "this is the last conversation I will have with my W" was because as others have said above if you think this way there is a very big chance (because you'll try to cram too much into the conversation) that you will either appear to, or you will, be in pursuit mode and that's a very bad thing.
If your IC isn't a DB one, you might want to consider changing, or giving them the benefit of the doubt it could be that he/she incorrectly interpreted something you said. Either way it's something you should challenge with them in your next session.
Some of the things you've said indicate your wife is potentially trying to cake eat perhaps because she senses you are close to pursuit mode and she's going to take advantage of you then run away.
So be very guarded as she needs to prove to you through consistent actions that she's being sincere, otherwise it is simply her controlling you so that she has the best of both worlds OM and you. Remember, don't believe 100% of what she says and only 50% of what she does.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
